Songs to be outlawed for all time:



Here's my top ten:

1. Las Ketchup (Go home ladies, and tend your ovens)

2. Macarena (My dog could dance it)

3. Barbie Girl (nooooooo! just the memory got it playing again in my head)

4. Brazil (and all songs by those Vengaboygirls)

5. Whenever, wherever (truth be told: I respect Shakira; but this song ought to be buried. I can only think of her 'small and humble breasts')

6. Hotel California (sorry, this must go too. This is so ingrained in our consciousness that seven generations hence, our children will be born singing it)

7. Smoke on the water (same as above)

8. Desert Rose (Cheb Mami has done better things. May I drive that Jaguar now, Mr Sumner?)

9. Summer of 69 (If only 69 was what I thought it was)

10. Eye of the tiger (You can't survive this one; every half-paisa pub thinks this was released yesterday afternoon)



Add yours!

Today is Happy Budday Babysistah day

(sorely tempted to wring your neck for that last post on your blog and on orkut but will resist that temptation considering its your birthday)


Since, miss mephistopleles, you are every bit the soulsister I had never imagined could rock so much(and nevermind the claims that we behave like a crabby old married couple)

and since you're my sanity saver, my beer buyer, my sleaze detector, provider of moral and immoral support, my official get-me-home-safe-when-im-blitzed-off-my-ass little sister who stands me up every other friday night because you're such a bloody workaholic

Since you're the keeper of all my little secrets that tend to escape when im down 4 drinks at the tavern...you are and always will be my luuurrrr-ve,my world,my yeverything


Now that you're close to gagging at that last one,my job here is done.

I love you babygirl,hope you have the best birthday, year, life ever

so much for democracy.so much for expression and the freedom to it. darned ISPs and darned Indian goverment and its paranoid incompetence

tum itna jo muskura rahe ho..

just when i thought i knew everything there was to know about you, where the geek ends and the goofball begins..just when i thought i had you figured out...you go surprise me again

Who are you behind your face?

friends anyone?

Happy funny no-brainer movie dint happen but found myself watching the much hyped Saad Khan directed play Friends will be friends last night.
This one definately counts as a no brainer..not happy or funny by anyones stretch of imagination.took it for as long as we could..which was about 20 minutes..at the end of which there was this slightly strange item number/cheerleading sequence dance that left us mildly stunned..in a play for heaven sake...it wasnt even a bollywood masala movie.Theatre isnt normally supposed to be this inane.
The bunch of us could hardly be blamed for walking out midway.
For Bangaloreans considering watching this play today or tommorrow..two words..Please dont.

for a review,visit dr.c's blog

http://buddhasoliloques.blogspot.com/2006/07/friends-will-be-friends-blech.html

more random..

There are moments when having a mind reader for a best friend is uncomfortable indeed


I usually find it easy to ignore/adequately deal with uncalled for advances from men.particularly those i dont know.One particular philandering lech however is pissing me off more than normal.I am one more retarded comment away from physical violence.unfortunately this guy happens to be my patient.doing damage to him under the circumstances would be very easy...and not exactly ethical.DAMMIT!


In some inexplicably, unnaturally generous moment, the bossman has decided to give us this sunday off. Hallelujiah!! this will probably be the first official day off in the history of The National Institute of Clinical Endodontics.(ok might be a bit of an exaggeration there..its the only offcial day off ive known since i got here anyway)


Im considering an alternate career in navel piercing.(dont ask...)yes,i have done it for a couple of people and they have survived.Before you ask,no,im not trained but i do have a knowledge of human anatomy that can beat that of most tattoo/piercing artists. thats qualification enough.besides its safer and cleaner than most of the shady/grubby places ive seen in India anyway


Im in the mood for a happy,funny,no-brainer movie that doesnt require you to think..or atleast think very much. Sadly, the only movies that fit the bill that are playing this week noone here is willing to watch with me.Bah!

Hostage,not slave

To that Ghost town corner of my memory..
the ghost town that refuses to give up the ghost
Were you just a cosmic smile at my fears..
coincidence sent to melt my doubts..?
and leave so many more..
Of an apology thats remained unworded.
Of knowing you'll never know
Of coming to terms with knowing you'll never know
Of savage stupid fakery
Of memory after memory reliquishing its sharp focus
Of wondering who im kidding

Tell me again..without the question mark

you're it!

I am thinking about...... another unreasonable deadline at work... and getting another tattoo...

I said...... too much ...

I want ...... a day off.

I wish...... i could stop second guessing every career and relationship decision ive ever made.

I hear...... incessant hypnotic nonsense babble in my head.

I wonder...... if all we've got is all we've got...

I regret...... the extra helping(s) of crème brulee last night.

I cant...not obsess over details.

I am...... trying to beat the odds, just like you...

I dance...... on barstools..and speakers..when sufficiently plastered in certain people's company.

I sing...... all the time..loudly and badly.

I need..... to learn to let go,...a vacation..

I cry...... sometimes, despite myself

I am not always...... reasonable...or rational

I make ...... snap judgements. and good coffee

I write...... because I like to.

I confuse...... passion and love..approval for satisfaction..reality and dreamscape..... i confuse myself..quite a bit..

I miss..... home.and the people i left behind there.

I will .....probably steal your french fries.

I should try ....being on time for once. but i do.....try i mean

And finally... the best compliment I have received today?.. That you are reading this.

That tag was brought to me by Jax...who prefers strip poker to blackjack(just for the record..)
I pass the tag on to :
A.T ..to try and stimulate a pulse in her flat-lining blog
Ice ..because i love her and her writing..nevermind that it usually makes very little sense to anyone but her
Dr.C and Shilps..because im dying to see what they come up with this time

Roadblock

My roads been blocked...again.
This time,for the new Bangalore Metro construction--not likely to get completed in the near future.Diversions everywhere and endless traffic snarls.
Little sister Shilpa claims our roads get laid more often than us..and for some reason that idea cracks me up.

There isnt any point complaining about traffic in bangalore i know,you just learn to live with it.My only crib about this blockade apart from having to Ooru-suthufy endlessly before reaching anyplace you need to get to in a hurry,is that now,i have to take the not so nice route for the morning run.which incidentally,is getting exceedingly irregular given the separation anxiety happening between me and my blanket on most days of late.
Ulsoor lake by the way,is the most gorgeous place for a jog in the morning.beautiful..quiet,if you manage to make it early enough..and not crowded.Gorgeous..especially in this kind of weather.here i go again..B'lore weather rocks!







Pani puri for dinner again...(yes,im compulsive about blogging about food)
Yummy!Nothing quite beats street chaat.its incredible how roadside bandi pani puri can turn a shitty day around.
Prissy sit-down chaat places totally defeat the purpose..such a waste of space.unless ofcourse its Gangotree on Cathedral road,Chennai...or the corner sweet shop on Mathura road in Delhi...growl beginning in stomach region again...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somebody i love has given me super news.It has no business being on my blog before it makes an appearance on hers,so for now i will say nothing more than that mucho joy is happening.
Big hug to the aforementioned somebody;)

Another day in the life of a fool

Solid Ground.Thats what she longed for.To stand for a while on solid ground.Terra firma...Or reinforced concrete for that matter,who cared?The comfort of routine and reason..and her sane(ok,perhaps not all that sane)but predictable life.

Back home finally.
So strange how she'd begun to think of a city she'd lived in barely 6months as home...
Madras was still her first love.but lately..well,thats another story for another day.. Madras and her, it’s like they broke up. Or, were seeing other people, but only one of them had agreed to this, only they never actually agreed, they just took liberties and it’s probably going to get ugly before everyone owned up to what was really going on.
I should clarify: it wasnt the city in itself that she had downgraded to ‘just friends’ status, it was its people...and memories.and bylanes.and food,and smells and the sea...

well,its too early in the day for this nonsense..work to do,demons to kill

There will always be times when you will look elsewhere for answers..
and no,that doesnt bother me..at all..not enough to count anyway

Random..

I woke to see Renee peering into my face with a concerned expression...I had slept ten whole hours on a weekday,a monday no less.. something she has tried to train me to do ever since i moved into the same house as her.so far, with absolutely no success.
considering ive been getting on average about two hours of sleep each night last week with a submission deadline dangling over my head,the body is mucho grateful for the rest..and last night's beer.
Now,with the dessertation finally in,(gory business..done now,and good riddance),lunch today is a muted celebration..Pizza- With almost everything on it except pineapple. and LOTS of chili flakes..and i break off after typing a few words of this and have another bite. Delish!And coffee..And my favorite kind of company..

Speaking of which,mention must be made of Dr.Chang in this context
This dear boy,happens to be a colour blind(really),chinese-buddhist who's allergic to alcohol(really,truly,im not kidding).Can you imagine an allergy to beer??how incredibly unfortunate.Well,last night,after having laid off alcohol in any form apart from cough syrup,our man joined us for a beer..which led to another..and another..
I dont think i quite believed in the allergy story till i saw his face do a rather strange technicolour transformation..yellow to pink to red..(forgive me dr.c,but you are yellow)..Freaked us out quite a bit..and he wasn't really showing signs of putting his beer mug down either.Turns out that the allergy doesnt do much apart from turn him lobster red..which wasnt too bad..kinda cute,once your audience is down a few drinks in a reasonably dark pub.nothing some cetzine wont take care of,huh boy?And now that we've discovered drinking isnt fatal to you,here's to many more talli nights..*grin*!

As usual,began sunday morning with a raging hangover ..
and a phone conversation with an adorable someone that went along the lines of 'grmpwh hmmm ok.muah!grjwmjadp..' well...
mornings like this usually have me wondering why I bother drinking at all..This usually lasts about 10 minutes and a return to Mojos is not far away.

Spent Sunday attending a dental seminar(yes,such mundanities unfortunately come with the territory) that bored me to tears..at the end of which ive realised that all i've learnt from it is the art of snoozing sitting up straight and with my eyes open.
the only saving grace was some excellent strong coffee and somewhere-inbetween-reasonable-and-good food..and dr.C next to me providing entertainment with arbit(and slightly morbid) sketching and rather spastic running commentary

me's off now for a refill of chilled beer at,where else..Mojos.which happens to be latest watering hole that we hit frequently and obsessively till the bartender starts showing signs of evicting us at closing time.cheers!:)

you are a cipher to me..like you've always been
another round hole into which the square peg of my conditioning wont fit

I know Ive been all spastic and unhappy about work and everything else last week
Have I depressed the hell out of you? Is this all too much to bear? I promise it’s not all gloom and doom
I want to update that statement to be only moderately gloom and doom this week. Lots busier but good otherwise.
Either the world will now stop, cease spinning on its axis, or I will collapse from exhaustion clutching a bottle of beer.
Oh please, please – let it be the latter

These last few days I’ve been a mass of possibly unsubstantiated but probably identifiable angst.
At first I thought it was because I’d listened to Tori Amos on my way home on thursday and realized that after ten years, I still don’t understand the meaning of half of her lyrics..Then i thought it was the usual thinning-wallet depression i go thru' everytime i pay my rent at the end of the month

Now after much obsessing and analysing and driving two certain blessedly patient people very close to the edge,I've put the it down to me just being equal parts of miserably overworked and miserably homesick.
Basically this stems from the fact that several people- including Dad and bro,Best buddy/mother hen from med school,Just-gotten-married old buddy and his new wife,and a particular dude who never fails to hopelessly scramble my brain for the foreseeable future everytime he shows up- have all been in town at various times over these past two weeks..which was fantastic for that duration..lots of yay-my-peoples-are-here dinners,drinking and goof-balling.
But now that they've all packed up and headed back to their respective homes this weekend,i feel (for lack of a less cliched term),well, a little lost.

standing at the window again,still in my robe.
watching the raindrops wriggle like daydreaming tadpoles down the pane.translucent as you please..standard issue.
if they are mutated by contamination,they wear it well

ive said this before,but here goes..i love this city..its cold in may..and gorgeous and windy...
and i have to be at work in 15 minutes..sigh!

slightly premature quarter-life crisis

Because Ive been running so fast with pointy things in my paws, I haven't had time to write coherent posts.

All of a sudden, I wish I didn't have to wake up every morning and head to work. Usually I'm conscientious,if never quite enthusiastic about about the ol' 7days a week/12hours a day routine . I realise this is what keeps books on the shelves, discs in the stereo, food on the table and beer in the belly but for the last couple of weeks, i've been feeling a bit out of it. Not specifically frustrated or annoyed as much as a little bored

And never getting paid enough just adds to the annoyance. It just isn't worth not being paid enough unless you're saving dolphins or rehabilitating orphaned children or something like that.the kind of satisfaction that usually happens at work has been missing for a while.. not sure if im doing something differently but i hope its just a phase that hopefully will pass soon

yes,the sole purpose of this post was for me to whine and vent,pliss adjust



In other(and better) news, ive been on a frantic house-hunting mission..dont feel inclined to slumming it any longer,so hopefully will move out of the sordid little shoe box i live in by this month end.
And with madame S living with me,full on entertainment shall be guaranteed:))

Confessional:

"Father,forgive me,for i've eaten all the butterscotch"



to the genie with the bottle..you truly are the dude! many thanks for making my day:)

Now Playing:
Saving me/Nickelback

One of my favorite things about coming back from a visit to Madras is how ungrounded I feel in the days that follow... and how hard I work to cling to it, kind of the way I try to will sleep back to me when I wake up at 6:30 AM on a tuesday morning..or try to not eat anything for a long time after piece of the chocolate cake mom sent back with me this time...

A city by the sea always has so much more character somehow..


(that said,someone's just informed me that this is the hottest day recorded in chennai in 30 years..had to be the day i turn up here..bloody sweltering it is)

(sniffle)
(ah-chooo!!)

down with a viral...fever,assorted aches and pains and looking like something even the cat wouldnt drag in
why the goofy grin then,you might ask..
because it gives me an excuse to take a long overdue break and head home to chennai..if you must suffer,may as well make the most of it huh?*supremely satisfied grin*

there's a motherfunk playing with his bike horn outside.
allow me a minute to scream at him
Yummy! I love nice yells. Frees the tension in my chest and makes me feel like Eddie Vedder
Sorry... where were we? Ah...

when im reasonably fuzzy-headed, (usually its alcohol,but at the moment being drugged on antibiotics is the culprit) im charitable with blessings..

Dr.C, God bless you,you've been an angel for taking care of me at despite the cranky,whiney tantrums all week.big hug

and shilps,
enjoy Goa babygirl,will miss you,weekends are never as much fun minus the baby sista
Avoir un mal fou!:)

moral of the last night's story:


Venting to a third party will actually increase your anger towards the target, it's worse than not venting. Venting to the target will result in less anger, post-venting


more importantly,
Do not play Monopoly with anyone that goes to
Manipal..If you have to, don't go easy on them even though you seem guaranteed to win. Crush them when you have the chance! Don't go easy on them to make the game last longer and keep it interesting..Why? Because they just might make a fluke rebound and win a free dinner!

The reasons why we start things may have little or nothing to do with the reasons why we continue them.

yet another bush-bashing trip..so cool i say
http://blogs.warpedworld.org/seumas/archives/images/Bush-monkey.jpg

Now playing :Flipsyde-Someday

When you find yourself running a pretty high risk of turning into the exact kinds of clichés you thought would never descend upon your blissed existence,it is ok to engage in a little self-deception about the quality/accuracy/justifiableness of our choices if the end result is our satisfaction.
The trouble is, now that I'm hyper-aware of the arbitrariness of choices, im having trouble maintainting faith in and commitment to the choices I make

bit of trivia plagarised off foolie's blog

don’t know what one can do with this announcement but...maybe you’d like to know!!

On Wednesday, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.That won't EVER happen again!

In the intro to a play i watched recently
"Ladies and gentlemen, please turn off your cell phones . Two of our cast members have PMS and one was a college kickboxing champion"

Some entity that has been part of my life has gone into a coma. I've been used to it being around, but it's not any more. There are small reminders of what is no longer there - as in the case of being able to see someone in coma, but not interact as you did before.
I am more or less an observer now. I can see the entity laying there, but I cannot bring it to wake up. I can't get other people to change anything. It is out of my control, except the only thing I can do is pull the plug and let the comatose entity die.
Should I do that? If I do I can let go, pick myself up and move on.
If I don't, maybe it can wake up and thrive again.
I should know better than to think that there is a should. But where does that leave me? Waiting. Waiting for Godot.

i say a little prayer for you

happy birthday

yay and double yaaay!!super weekend this is turning out to be..first elwin in an unnaturally virtuous moment treats the rest of the mad bunch of us at Hint..whats better than alcohol and super food and super company?? someone else paying for it *grin*

and kalpana and kunal decided to do surprise weekend visit..(i've mastered the art of looking amazed at things i've known about for weeks..sneaky little me and my sneaky little sources)

[Insert truly arrhythmic happy dance you are blessed to never have witnessed.]

after a lunch that involved too much cheese and too much beer as usual,kalpana figured i need to live up to the dentist rep and dress more like her..read-impeccable if slightly stuffy.i've been wearning different versions of the same blue-jeans-with-everything for more than a decade and a half so i could hardly put up an argument
someone mentions the sale at m&s and her face lights up.uh-oh,this woman's on a mission..the moment i heard SALE, I knew it was going to be an another cheesy, saccharine, flimsily-veiled attempt to sell me a dozen more things i might never use and dont really have the space for, but I couldn’t stop myself. I haplessly go wherever my estrogen leads me. And this – not the first time – it was to a very bad place. out comes the card,and there goes the budget.

was worth an afternoon spent in the company of two people who never fail to make me feel incredible though..will live frugally for the rest of the month

happy holi all

have gotten so used to sedate holis year after year in chennai..rarely do you get mauled by anyone carrying gulal unless you've allowed it willingly.
and in my mad dash to work this morning i forgot i wasnt in sedate ol' madras anymore..barely got out of the front door,freshly washed hair and white shirt of all things..(lack of reason and commonsense attributed to lack of sleep as usual)turned around to lock the door and splat!! water balloon hits me square between the shoulder blades.might have knocked me over if i wasnt leaning against the door anyway.(you see our door doesnt lock right unless you've pitched every ounce of weight in your body against it..mini-workout for the excercise-challenged) mercifully this one was plain water.went back up and changed again.got to work late-again..and spent every little break between appointments playing water holi with syringes nicked from the hospital.zooper fun i say:)!!

and in case you're wondering,there isnt a shred of connection/point to any of my posts today

Like me, you've probably multi-tasked while on the phone. While talking or listening, you've probably organized some stuff at your desk, taken stuff out of your bag,tried desperately to sort out a bad hair day and given up.. I experienced something unusual today while I was on the phone...

Have you ever wondered where your phone was, while you were using it?

Most items of clothing have a label with washing instructions.
This was on the label of a tshirt the little bro gifted me this AM-
" Hand wash separately in bucket. Use gentle suds. Do not beat the sh** out of the garment. Beware of "Dhobi". Never iron directly on plastic prints. Buy more Tantra... support hungry artists."

The 'What If' ball

What with uncertainty, anxiety,wants and needs,fatigue and one thing or another, I've had to devise a coping strategy these past few months - and here it is.In my mind's eye, all my worries-some inane,some reasonably morbid-take on the form of little rough pebbles and rusty nuts and bolts. I pick them up and dump them in my "What If" ball.
The ball has various unique properties, not least of which is its ability to hover at eye height about a foot away from the left side of my head. It is there all the time, sometimes just slipping into my peripheral vision. The other special things about it are that only I can see it and that although it is the size of,say,an apple, its internal volume is infinite. Once placed inside, the contents cannot escape. When I want to examine something, I push my hand through the gooey membrane surface and grab the particular item I am looking for. As I withdraw my hand, the surface, see-through though with slight opacity, closes smoothly again.
There are past "What Ifs", present "What Ifs" and future "What Ifs", and the idea of the ball is to put them all away so that I can live in the here and now. If they're not put away, they cloud what is happening - which is a problem, because it is just starting to get quite interesting.

yes,we have upgraded

Spent lunch hour today shifting rooms..lugging furniture and putting up curtains.me and nisha(thats my room-mate) have managed to cajole/brainwash/coerce mallu landlady to give us a larger(not much,but larger nevertheless)room.this one comes with a far nicer view and a tiny verandah to boot.Now hopefully with the additional 8feet of space we wont be knocking each other over with every move.Added bonus-the neighbours on this side play awesome moojic every AM.God bless Worldspace
Special mention must be made here of the unflappable,eternally placid Nisha.Somehow,i've hit jackpot in the roomie department.nothing frazzles this babe..which is far more than i can say for myself of late.for one,she tolerates my mood swings with a patience that has set her well on the road to sainthood.(examle of a typical conversation when i get home each night-" Nish, you know you could put the laundry away if you… oh, hey, aww, you put the laundry away! And sorry and… are you rolling your eyes at me?")and whats more,she's blessedly domestic..happiest when she's got something to tidy up.incredible to have around during one of my decidedly housework-phobic spells(somebody up there loves me)

prettypleasecanwegoonavacationprettyplease

The thin line between me and crazy

Mon Amis
Pliss bear with me as i ramble on..
You know that feeling when you're going thru' a far worse than typical mid-week crisis..your workload is so far underwater, it should probably sprout gills in order to survive.add to that,the fact that your boss's sense of humour slid off the roof and broke its back,this is fast turning out to be the workweek from hell.
i guess its indicative of your state of mind that you find yourself turning down invitations to movies you've long been dying to watch and the dinners your body is craving(bird flu be damned) .so you bitch and groan and rant and then decide that theres little option but to set aside your little existential crisis for now and put in whatever extra time it takes over the already crazy 12-hour day to catch up with your schedule.and out of career ambition or general confusion you find yourself promising yourself and others that in the interest of work,health,your wallet and the once taut stomach that no longer is,you will limit your alcohol consumption to no more than once a week..and then wonder why that statement was met with smirks and knowing smiles and hysterical giggling..why i say?

my dogs have had a litter..folks in chennai interested in adopting one of these little guys (they're lab pups), do drop me a line.

congrats ice,elwin and rish..at the rate you guys are going i might just have to pitch that tent with a dentist sign outside sp jain

and ice,as always was awesome having you around..pliss to be visiting more often..zooper weekend it was

yippeeee..Convocation today..

must say after these past few weeks at the flat,it felt a little eerie waking up to peaceful silence this AM.and not walking out bleary-eyed to see a harried bunch of women in various degrees of undress.and not being so frozen,my roomie has to physically yank the covers back and haul me out of bed..kinda missed that daily tug-of-war today..
had my coffee made by someone else for a change and handed to me in bed..aah the luxury of coming to back to visit when your studying away from home:)

p.s.:made a nifty little discovery last night..sceptical as i was when i was handed one of these,Himalaya's PartySmart does seem to work..after one glass of wine too many last night i have far less of a raging headache than normal..highly recomended

how do you go from being as high as a kite to dead sober in 5 seconds flat??
Try getting back at 2 AM sozzled to discover your credit and debit cards have suddenly gone missing..
once the initial inevitable panic attack passed though,as always icy, the long distance crisis manager managed from the other end of a phone line from hyderabad to first get me to form a full coherent sentence and later call an assortment of banks to bar the cards that went missing..thank you baby..also since it'll be a week before i get replacements,any contributions to the Jinxed trust fund would be very welcome

i love the way u expect no explanations whatsoever
actually think about it,i love everything about you

been 10days since i got here and im lovin this city more all the time..
despite the bordering on insane work hours,despite the tiny-er than tiny place i now call home with its vertigo-inducing view outside my window..desptite the fact that im likely to die of hypothermia in the near future..its COLD!!then again,maybe its just me..i feel frozen in most places
the landlady is a funny lispy lady with a strong mallu accent..and a voice that can cover the entire scale within the span of one sentence..feeds me constantly..shes trying to fatten me up for some reason..
despite the initial misgivings,my flat-mates are incredible people..been in splits ever since i got here..more updates later..

off to hyd for the weekend:)

back in b'lore..its effin freezing here..

what i long for..a paradigm shift. A change of scenery. A chance to get out of my own head for a few days.

A : Tell me the story about the pretty tree.
:) : The one you must have fallen out of?
A : Yes.
:) : And you hit every branch on the way down?
A : Did I? Really?
:) : Yes, you did. All sixteen times you’ve asked me this week.

At lunchtime last saturday,I embarked on the first of what seems like an endless number of steps, processes, paper trails, bureaucratic snarls, and inevitable headaches that will allow me to register my degree with the TNDC(thats the Tamil Nadu Dental Council). Armed with (I kid you not) my drivers license, passport, birth certificate Std 10 memo,Std 12 memo,my BDS degree and as many relevant and irrelavant filled-out applications as i could possibly stuff into what is affectionately called my Register Dr.Jinxed kit — I considered myself prepared for any sort of detail that would inevitably be leveraged to deny me the ability to do this in one shot.or so i thought..after 5 days and countless drives between my university and this office,i now know better..still waiting for my papers to be processed.almost 6 decades of democracy and one things still unchanged..good ol' Indian bureaucratic red tape..Happy Republic Day folks

For days now, kalpana and I have been practicing aloud the wording of my hypothetical resignation letter
“How does this sound? ‘I regret to inform you that as of next Friday, I will no longer…’”
“Not ‘regret’! ‘I am PLEASED to inform you…’”
“Ooh, I like that!”
"It is with GREAT PLEASURE that I inform you…’”
“Hee. Good one. And not ‘as of next Friday’ – how about ‘as of tomorrow…’”
“Or 9:30 AM today! That would give you time to clean out your stuff!”
“And tell some people what you really think of their new haircuts and gawdy-ass engagement rings!”
Of course, it never did happen quite like that. My *cough* politeness will get the better of me. We curtsied, we bowed..and told the boss-man what an incredible learning experience working with him has been,and how i've grown as a proffessional and how sad i am to be leaving..(sucking up justified-i do need all the references i can get afterall) and felt just the tiniest sense of ego gratification when he asked me to come back to work for him after i finished this course..

collected my paycheck(yippeee..im rich!!..for a while anyway) and scooted without a backward glance..enjoying that feeling of satisfaction you get from burning bridges you hope to never have to cross again.

I haven't slept in my bed for weeks and weeks.. always fall asleep on the couch these days

Back from bangalore this AM..rather sudden,unplanned trip and a whirlwind weekend that deserves more detail than i have time for now..
but in brief, looks like im moving cities shortly..will be spending the next 7 months or so in Bengalooru to do a PG diploma.and now that im finally done freaking out at having to shift at such short notice(yes,i do know its only a 6 hour drive from here) and leave my life here behind..well,mom,job,friends anyway..which pretty much covers my life as of now, i realise i need to get down to dealing with a few of the more practical nitty-grittys involved..telling the boss-man im quitting for one..(i do hate confrontations of any kind with that man) and getting my national registration done before i leave from here(which, let see now, is about 2 weeks away) and a few other seemingly inane but unavoidable details that upping and moving involves.Too much to do,too little time
the highlight of the weekend though was the full tension release sessions at the 13th floor and tavern..Rish and Elwin ,take a bow!
cheers guys!*hic*(or was that tic tic tic tic tic tic??)

bloddy single-dimensional blog this is getting to be..bah!

Friday the 13th...figures!!

what would it take for me to be truly happy..no,not long term happiness..more in the right now,instant gratification sense..

A back massage
A bubble bath
A day off
Iced vodka shots
Thai food
A month of Saturdays
R and L to reunite
A full tank of fuel,clear road,no traffic
An unending supply of calorie free 70% cocoa bars.

how much space is ok to expect without being accused of being unrealistic?how do you tell someone you care about that it might be alright to love someone without actually living in their pocket?..and that while yes,you're thanking your stars everyday for their existance in your life,at this precise moment their being over involved and generally in your face is freaking you out..?

secular??

please read
http://in.rediff.com/news/2006/jan/06rajeev.htm

The space between, the tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The space between, the wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain..Will I hold you again
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me..Like will it rain today
We waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we're playing
We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What a wild-eyed beast you be
The space between, the wicked lies we tell and hope to keep us safe from the pain
Will I hold you again, Will I hold you...

Dave Matthews Band --revisited after a way too long
Carter Beauford on drums, Boyd Tinsley on strings, LeRoi Moore on sax, and Stefan Lessard on bass --andDave Matthews..traversing great territory with singing, wailing,growling, gnashing and sundry other noises and voices..little else comes close

Sometimes, you may think
its worthwhile to have
the other side see your point of view
and sometimes, you have
other things to do..

its been a long break from the everyday grind..new year weekend extended into bro's wedding..can barely believe the dude's married now.quite an event that was..gorgeous seaside affair..beautiful without being over the top.and after a week of celebration,its finally back to work today(groan..) but being good with the being good bit and just getting on with the sodding thing..

Big brotha's wedding coming up in 2days...
so household's been in a predictable redecorating/entertaining/celebrating frenzy for the past month..family junta from around the globe have been coming in all week..have gotten used to the idea of privacy and space being a vague,distant memory..atleast for now..
been great fun so far..music and dancing and late night chatter..sometimes cliche' does have a certain appeal..and there's never a shortage of entertainment
speaking of entertainment,something about these weddings tends to give people you barely recognise the idea that they're somehow responsible for your future and seeing you 'settled' and dispatched into the world of domestic bliss with some 'nice boy'who's a doctor/engineer/corporate bigwig from"____"(fill in city of choice from Bheemawaram to Boston) who happens to be just the perfect person for you(on what grounds,God only knows) Try suggesting that as much as you appreciate the interest they're taking, settling down aint on the cards anytime in the near future and you'll invite honestly bewildered looks and dire warnings about your reducing shelf life(noone's ever made me feel more like a jar of mayo before) and out of control biological clocks after age 24..(uhoh!certainly running outta time aren't we..Dang it!) Have scruplously resisted the impulse to slug/scratch/knee in the groin, any of these rather pesky relatives so far..full marks for good behaviour,what say? hopefully the patience will hold up thru' the rest of the week

Awesome weekend..fusht chillax-ed New Years eve i've had since God knows when..(must do the quiet weekend getaway thing more often)
Its amazing how being with people ur crazy about can make anything fun..car trouble in the middle of nowhere,champagne out of glass tumblers..its all about flipping the system on its lid aint it,baby?
Another year went by witha speed thats left me reeling..has it really been a year already?Eventful would be an understatement.life still manages to trudge along no matter whats thrown at it huh,mr.felix..?
well,cheers to '06..and whatever it might hold..bring it on,i say:)

my new years resolution not to cuss and swear lasted 17 minutes..still hopeful about the rest-

must work on will power

find perspective.do more than just stagnate

cook more

learn to swim(ice,lessons pliss)

sleep more than 2 hours a day

simple enough..

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
wish y'all luck and good cheer...and good health,barring the occasional hangover..and success and bushels of money..and loads of lovin'
hope all your dreams n hopes come true
party safe..
Cheers!

off to pondy now..yippiieeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!celebrating the new yr with mah buddies..sun n sand n great company..oh and lets not forget the cheap booze..doesnt get much better than this does it?lovin' the anticipation..:))

One of those blog-lists..most of u'll know the score I presume.. for those not familiar, Bold means been there, done that, Italics mean I’d like to , the rest I don’t really care about doing


Stayed up all night and watched the sunrise – yes..not as often as id like to though
Honestly believed that I’ve been deeply in love with each and every single person I’ve ever been with.
Done a striptease- somehow feel that would end up being more funny than sexy with me
Bungee jumped..soon soon..
Played cops and robbers. –still do on occasion
Watched a lightning storm at sea.
Gone to a huge sports game
Slept under the stars – on the beach, on the terrace, on the lawn
Changed a baby's diaper
Been to a psychic- was told freakily accurate things..but then,ive also been told some pretty hilarious things..acc to some im supposed to have been married at 18
Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Gotten drunk on champagne -i get drunk on most things..bit of a lightweight
Believed in ghosts – still do
Given more than you can afford to charity
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope –definately on wish list for the near future
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
Taken a sick day when you're not ill ..dont we all?
Asked out a stranger
Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier.
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can.
Taken a midnight skinny dip.
Taken an ice cold bath ..in kodai,during a powercut..brrr
Ridden a roller coaster...love scary rides
Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
Adopted an accent for an entire day .
Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment..as much of a whiner as i can be,really dont have much to complain abt
Loved your job for all accounts. sounds wierd coming from a dentist..but what the heck i actually like doing what i do
Taken care of someone who was shit faced. – while I was equally shit-faced…
Had enough money to be truly satisfied –been a while since ive felt that way tho'
Stolen a sign. – a no parking sign from outside shoppers stop..bright yellow with a kangaroo on it
Taken a road-trip – quite a few actually…
Milked a cow ..huh ?
Sung karaoke
Lounged around in bed all day –planned,focussed lazing like balu would say
Played in the rain.
Got high and jumped in puddles when random strangers walked by
Done something you should regret, but don't regret it – the list is endless
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken – is that even possible?
Gotten married .. ???
Crashed a party
Loved someone you shouldn't have
Made cookies from scratch ..hah!
Gotten a tattoo
Gotten my belly pierced..twice over coz the first one got ripped out by accident..yes, i am a glutton for punishment
Gotten flowers for no reason..and given flowers for no reason..
Got so drunk you don't remember anything –hell,yeah
Been addicted to some form of illegal drug..i dont do chemicals
Performed on stage-some were great..some,i still cringe thinking abt
Watched fireworks from the sky
Eaten shark
Been on a cruise ship.
Downed 18 shooters..too much of a lightweight to survive more than 5
Spoken more than one language fluently..speak a few languages..wouldnt go as far as fluently tho'
Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
Picked up and moved to another city to just start over to be with the one you love – have picked up and started over in another city for my own sake…
Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking.
Had plastic surgery
Said 'I love you' and meant it.
Said 'I love you' and not meant it.
Broken someone's heart – a few times, apparently.
Been fired or laid off from a job.
Broken a bone – never. Which I find quite surprising, given how clumsy i can be
Ridden a motorcycle
Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime – define “healthy”
Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about.
Gotten someone fired for their actions.
Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them.
Been a DJ –id leave that to da big brotha
Smoked a cigarette
Crashed a friend's car – the ever-patient balu's..(have i told u lately how much i love u)
Snuck out of your parent's house – several times
Had amazing friends-all along..and eternally grateful for them
Been arrested
Gone on a blind date – I’m not THAT optimistic
Flown a kite .
Built a sand castle.
Made mud pies
Collected slugs in a jar
Cheated while playing a game – I try…
Been lonely.
Fallen asleep at work/school ...been a backbencher all my life for a reason
Made a term paper presentation while I was out-of-my-mind high..went for a viva mildly tipsy ..does that count?
Been robbed – cell phones,wallets,..n cds...my friends cant seem to leave my cds alone
Been misunderstood
Run a red light.
Gotten stoned
Liked the way you look.
Questioned your heart. – all the time.
Been obsessed with post-it notes – I’m obsessed with stationery on the whole.
Felt like dying – never…
Cried yourself to sleep–many times.bad idea,'specially when u have a tendency to fall asleep with ur contact lenses on..try getting ur eyes to open the next morning..
Made prank phone calls.
Written a letter to Santa Claus – and the tooth fairy
Sung in the shower
Had a dream that you married someone –used to have this recurring dream that i was forcibly being married off to a prof i was morbidly terrified of in med school..ketan parekh (theres probably some creepy freudian explanation to this but i dont want to know)
Sat on a roof top
Talked on the phone for more than 4 hours
Jumped into a pool/hot tub/lake with all your clothes on ..got flung in is more like it
Laughed so hard you cried.
Had a fantasy about someone you love as a good friend-does tend to freak u out quite badly
Been able to live without your mobile phone for a day in your normal life -lose my phone so often its hardly news

you know, maybe im not leading such an uneventful life afterall..if this compilation is any kind of yardstick to be measuring the happening-ness quotient of my life against..seem to have done abt three quaters or more of these things

maybe im judgemental and suspicious.maybe ive just learned certain things that make me wary of giving some people the benefit of doubt..been there,done that,got the tshirt..and lived to regret it time and again..what irks me tho' in all this,isnt any of the above ..its just that afterall this time and with all that gyan..i still can't seem to stay detached..some people can get a reaction out of me no matter what..and the worst part is they know how true that statement is

and here's the reason why im smiling inspite of the lack of sleep and sad seminar..a few of my favorite ppl and oldest buddy junta are arriving shortly in chennai-land over the next few days..starting today..balu n wife in a few hours time..ice n gang on 30th..off to pondicherry for New Years!!! :))

first coherant thought of the day..Coffeeeee!!!..irrespective of whether the day has begun after a full 7hour rest(a rare luxury) or after an hour n a half of drifting in and out of a doze like last night(actually this morning..)function pretty much on groggy auto-pilot untill i fix myself that morning super-dose..one mug n im finally awake..another n im ready to face the day..a third...,and im bouncing off the walls..pure java-induced joy!which is precisely what im doing now..mid way thru' my second mug staring at a monitor at 6 in the AM working on somebody elses seminar..for absoutely no credit.sigh!! how i get myself into these situations,i dont know..

'neways, G'Morning campers.:)
feels good to be blogging again

Sometimes, a memory cannot do the person justice..especially at a time like this..with so much happening..a lot of it so familiar n perhaps as much of it,so new..cant help turning around that once in a while expecting to see him..in the middle of everything,running the show and having the time of his life doing it..makes you realise how much of a difference one person's absence can make.sure i dont need a physical presence to know ur around,but just this once mr.felix up in the sky,i wish i still had the tangible you..so i could stop wondering for once..and so you'd just tell me what you're thinking..and maybe help me make sense of what i was thinking too..the way only you could..

have spent the evening laundering my life..consequently have loads of rubbish bags..and yet another 'u da best-est,smartest,sanest' thank you hug to the lil brotha
and a reason to start new blog perhaps..

hmm..

my zillionth attempt at blogging..
the previous ones dint last beyond a few months..have the attention span of a goldfish unfortunately..serious ADHD..
this time hopefully ill stick with it